Meet Cecilia!

Well, my dearest friends, it has been AGES since my last post!  Squirt arrived at 1:53pm on December 19, and I have been a crazy person ever since!  Let me tell you how HARD it is to eat healthy and avoid your comfort foods/drinks when you're sleep deprived and trying to figure out what the heck a newborn wants every time they're screaming!  I have definitely not been kind to myself - way too much caffeine, sugar & the best/worst of both worlds - chocolate!  I'm in the market for another round of elimination diet in the next few weeks to get back on track and detox!

Squirt's birth didn't exactly go the way we had hoped, but she arrived, safe & sound, nonetheless.  I was in labor for 3 1/2 days, ended up with an epidural AND pitocin *sad face*.  Then, babygirl ended up passing meconium in utero, so instead of delayed cord clamping, skin to skin warming and nursing within an hour of birth, they clamped & cut her cord right away, took her to be intubated/suctioned after just a moment with me, and then wisked her away to the nursery for observation/tests for THREE HOURS after birth *more sad face*.  It was insanity.  But we all survived it, she's perfectly healthy, and we ended up not suffering TOO much for the lack of immediate breastfeeding.  And now she's growing like a weed!  Hooray! :)

Now, in honor of my first stint of actual cooking since before I gave birth, a blog post for all of you for Super Bowl Sunday!  My basically original recipe for Sweet&Spicy Quinoa Chili can be eaten as a meal or served with your favorite crackers/chips as a dip for a crowd (or you know, you by yourself like I roll).

Don't mind the messy bowl - I was too hungry to snap the first bowl, so this is bowl the second!

I started with inspiration from my Pinterest, but I let my imagination do the cooking.  Matt asked me to try to use up some of the random bulk things we have lying around, so that's kind of how I ended up with this:

Sweet&Spicy Quinoa Chili

Ingredients

• ½c quinoa, rinsed
• 1c water
• 1lb grass-fed ground beef sirloin
• 1tbsp dried minced onions
• 1tbsp Trader Joe’s hot pepper olive oil
• 3 celery stalks, chopped
• 1 (almost whole) red bell pepper, chopped
• 10 baby carrots, chopped
• 2-3 garlic cloves, pressed
• 28oz can crushed tomatoes (with basil)
• 15oz can black beans (not drained)
• 15oz can sweet potato puree
• 2tbsp hemp seeds (optional)
• spices to taste:
• black pepper
• sea salt
• chili powder
• nutmeg
• cumin
• cinnamon
• crushed red pepper

Directions

1. In a medium sauce pan, combine the quinoa and water. Cook over medium heat until water is absorbed, about 15 minutes. Set aside. 
2. In a large skillet, combine ground beef and minced onions.  Cook beef until brown and set aside.
3. In a large pot, heat the olive oil over high heat. Stir in garlic, carrot, celery, & pepper. Cook until vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes.
4. Add the black beans, tomatoes, and sweet potato. Stir in the cooked quinoa, ground beef, & hemp seeds. Season with spices as desired. Simmer chili on low for about 30+ minutes. Serve warm.
5. Garnish the chili with green onions, avocado slices, cheese, sour cream/Greek yogurt, chips, crackers, if desired.

This recipe is packed with protein - beef, quinoa, beans & hemp seeds are all excellent sources!  Because of my adrenal fatigue, I have to consume at least 3oz of red meat three times a week, and I prefer grass-fed beef to plain old ground beef, but you can use the latter if you have it, or substitute ground turkey or chicken if you're not a big red meat person.  Vegetarians could easily leave out the meat altogether, or substitute a second (and even third!) can of beans.  

I consider this recipe a great way to use whatever veggies you happen to have lying around.  I only had one pepper, but you could throw in as many as 3.  You could add zucchini or yellow squash as well.  I didn't have an onion, but if I had, I would have added it to the oil first and cooked it for about 5 minutes before adding the rest of the veggies (it's a slow cooking veg).  You could easily used a peeled regular carrot instead of the babies (babies were all I had in the fridge today).

As for my canned goodies, I didn't have plain crushed tomatoes without spices, so I experimented with the basil, and it tasted great!  You could use plain ones, or the ones with Italian spices, too - whatever your heart desires (or your pantry has in stock)!  Any beans will do, too - kidney, cannellini, pinto - the world is your oyster.  And if you're someone who needs to watch your starches, feel free to substitute pumpkin or butternut squash for the sweet potato - I'm sure it's just as yum.

I purposely didn't put amounts for the spices - as Matt taught me early on in our relationship, you can't really mess up cooking like you can with baking.  Just throw the spices in (conservatively if you're scared) and adjust as needed after you taste it.  Be bold & try it!

I intended to eat my chili with the spoon pictured, but I ended up eating my whole first bowl and half of my second bowl by scooping it out with Garden of Eatin' Blue Chips :) Thank goodness I'm burning so many calories breastfeeding!!

On that note, I will leave you with another picture of my baby bird & best wishes for a happy cooking experience in your very near future!

  

A Three-fer

I feel terrible, my dear readers!  It's been a bit hectic around here and I haven't posted anything in quite some time.  So to make up for it, I'll give you not one, not two, but THREE meal updates for the price of one - FREE! :)

First up, breakfast, since it is breakfast time right now after all.  I made this amazing omelet this morning and it is sure to stay in my repertoire for years to come!  I started with this recipe from simplylivinghealthy.org - didn't tweak much.  I made Matt's with almond butter, but I'm having an almond aversion, so I put peanut butter on mine.  We only had about 3 salvageable strawberries, so that was the topping (it ended up being plenty for both omelets!) and I only had packets of stevia in the raw, so I used half a packet in each omelet in place of the liquid stevia, and we left out the whipped cream (I've never been a fan).  You could certainly, as the original post says, substitute whatever you want in the fillings/toppings.  If you can't do bananas, I'm sure berries would be great with the nutbutter or sunbutter of your choice inside.  Or mix it up tropical style and add some mango mixed with coconut nectar on the top, and fill with berries and unsweetened flaked coconut on the inside.  Your imagination is the limit!

Of course after breakfast comes two snacks lunch! Actually, I made these for dinner first, but forgot to take a picture, so you get the photo of my lunch from hanging out with my sister doing my closet reorganization. 

This was super easy and delicious (both times!) - the salad is just a bagged spring mix, topped with cucumbers, green beans, carrots and fresh red bell peppers, drizzled with a little olive oil.  The meaty goodness in the middle is a Spring Leek and Lemon Chicken Patty from healthfulpursuit.com - so tasty!  I only modified two-ish things in this recipe: 1) I used 2 whole large eggs instead of 1 egg + 1/4c egg whites - I was too lazy to separate them, even with the cool trick I posted a while back.  It worked out perfectly.  2) I rarely measure spices in cooking - my husband taught me that you can't really mess up cooking like you can baking, so being super exact doesn't matter.  That said I zested an entire lemon (and a little bit of one finger - oops!), and just threw in something that looked good to me for the other spices.  That recipe yielded me 7 patties, which lasted us through several days.  It was a huge hit all around, including as leftovers - I definitely recommend trying this (and anything else Leanne posts at Healthful Pursuit - she's a genius)!

And now for my most creative endeavor since last we met - Chicken Enchiladas!!

My parents were in Aruba last week, so my sister and I split dog-sitting duties for the westies.  I went down to have dinner with my sister & brother-in-law on Wednesday night and we abused borrowed my mom's kitchen to cook these Mexican dreams, which were a special request from my brother-in-law, since the siblings' kitchen is currently being massively renovated.  Although we probably should have planned better (I didn't arrive to start cooking until 730pm, and we didn't eat until 9, even with my sister's help!), these babies were well worth the wait, especially for my sister, who added dairy back into her diet (she's been slowly adding potentially allergenic/sensitive foods back in since her elimination diet started earlier this year) just for the occasion.  

This was a HUGE experiment on a variety of levels, so I was glad it turned out so well.  I'll start with the recipe and then give you my thoughts on the first attempt, with suggestions for how to learn from my mistakes :)

Chicken Enchiladas

• 1/4 lb queso blanco, cubed *see anecdote!
• 1-2 cups half & half
• 4 oz cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup salsa (I used Green Mountain Gringo, medium, but I'm sure freshly made would be awesome) *see note
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 2 cups chopped cooked chicken (I was lazy and bought mine at the prepared foods bar at Whole Foods!)
• 1 cup shredded mexican cheese blend
• 7 brown rice tortillas (I used Food for Life brand)
• 2 tbsp olive oil, divided

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350* and lightly grease a 9x13 baking pan (I used olive oil).
2. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine queso blanco and half & half, stirring frequently, until queso is melted and well mixed.
3. In another saucepan over medium heat, combine cream cheese, sour cream & salsa.  Cook, stirring until melted and well mixed.  Stir in chicken and mexican cheese and set aside.
4. In a large skillet, heat 1tbsp oil and cook each tortilla about 20 seconds on each side, until pliable.  Add remaining oil if it gets too depleted.
5. Spread half of queso mixture on the bottom of the greased pan.  Fill each tortilla with a portion of the chicken mixture and roll up.  Place on top of queso in pan.  Top tortillas with remaining queso mixture.  Bake for 15 minutes, or until tortillas just begin to lightly brown.  Serve immediately, preferably with guacamole.

*anecdote: I had never used queso blanco before.  I tried to find a "dip" version of this pre-made because it was already so late when I was shopping, but every brand I looked at had something in it my sister and/or I couldn't eat.  So I bought a pound of queso blanco in the ethnic aisle at Wegmans and figured I'd make my own.  I cubed it to help it melt more easily (ha!) and it still took almost 90 minutes to melt enough to work!  If you try queso blanco, which is a solid cheese but delicious, I would definitely shred it finely first rather than just cubing.  You might want to sub shredded monterey jack or crumbled queso fresco (which is softer) instead, though, since I still don't know how long it would take to melt the shredded queso blanco, and I'd hate to see you wait 90 minutes for your cheese to melt!

*note: My sister has not yet added tomatoes back into her diet, so I actually took a third of the ingredients and made her her own pot of filling without the salsa.  We just added garlic and some red onion to hers with a little cumin, which she loved.  I also used a little half and half in hers to thin it out like the watery salsa did to ours.

Those are my sister's enchiladas - the BIL's and mine were a little pinker inside from the salsa.  Everyone loved them, and they were SO filling!!  We only made about 7 enchiladas, which I worried wouldn't be enough, but we even had leftovers for the next day!  I had a little extra filling of my sister's variety, so I made her a quesadilla (brown rice tortilla filled with chicken mixture, folded in half and baked at 350* for 10 minutes) to save for the next day's lunch, since she couldn't have the leftover enchiladas with salsa.  I am happy to report that my sister's dairy-trial-by-fire was a rousing success - no bad reaction whatsoever!  Hooray for her health!

My sister made the guac, and I can't remember exactly what she put in it, so I can't give you the recipe right now, but for my version, I usually use 1 avocado, juice of 1/2 a lime, cumin, 1-2 crushed garlic cloves, salt & pepper.  I know my sister used some red onion, which was a nice addition - surprising to me, because I normally hate red onion.  Maybe it's the pregnancy taste buds...  If I can find out her basic recipe, I'll post it later.

(Thanks to my sister, too, for the photos of the enchiladas!  She took them with her actual camera, as opposed to me using my phone + Instagram to make things look remotely presentable.)

The husband and I made quesadillas (no queso sauce!) later that week with the leftover ingredients.  It was WAY faster, and just as tasty.  Feel free to adapt to whatever you like/suits your time frame.

There you have it, friends.  I hope that makes up for the dreadful span of time I left you all hanging!  Happy healthy eating! :)

One Week Later (aka Nine Months Later)

So obviously, starting my blog didn't turn out as planned.   I had a much harder time adjusting to the miscarriage than expected, then work got in the way, and then I found myself with a whole new set of horrifically wonderful distractions.  More on that later.

I promise, I did try to write more after my long introductory post.  Here is the draft that I never came back to, and never published:

It's been a week since I started miscarrying little Bean. I'm finding it hard to do all the things I'm supposed to do. I'm in pain, and I don't really feel like eating, which is bad when you're supposed to be eating "every 2 hours of your waking day, no exceptions!" I went to pack myself food to take to work for my 8 hour day, and all I could bring myself to do was pick up an apple & throw it in my bag, unwashed. It's a shame really, because my dear husband slaved over eggplant parm & pumpkin pie this morning. He's been cooking like a fiend, as usual, but I just keep ignoring all the food in the fridge.

I wonder if I should even be back at work yet... I don't know what the typical "leave" is for miscarriage. I'm still in tons of pain, but, like a typical megalomaniac, I fear my entire program would fall apart if I weren't there, so I do my best to plug away through the pain and the sadness. I guess it's good to go back to routine in a sense, as long as I'm not pushing myself physically before I should be.

That's as far as I got.  But it sums up my life pretty well through the holiday season.  I ended up eating all sorts of cheat foods, and of course paying dearly for it.  I indulged in all the holiday cookies and breads and processed foods I came across, with self-loathing and depression leading the decision making process at every social function.  By January, my toxicity was through the roof and my autonomic nervous system was actually communicating fear - of "not finding food", of feeling guilty about food choices, of completely backsliding into all of my old habits and symptoms.  My insomnia came back, as did my irritability and digestive problems.  I just couldn't seem to dig myself out of my emotional hole.

But that month I made a decision.  I wanted a baby more than ever.  And if that was going to happen, I needed to get myself back on track and healthy to carry this new little one to the best of my ability.  And so, I began again.  I didn't eliminate anything I'd added back into my diet (which included eggs, tomatoes, and dairy - all successfully non-symptom inducing!), but I did get back to strict no gluten, sugar, processed foods, and sugar substitutes.  I occasionally still cheated with corn (which does upset my stomach a bit), soy (haven't noticed symptoms, but not actively checking either), caffeine (totally wrecks my sleep no matter what time of day) and alcohol (only occasionally, and not for a while now!) but I got a lot better about eating carefully again.  I still found it difficult to stay motivated for myself alone, which has been a wonderful topic for my therapy sessions, but I was doing a lot better than the train wreck I had been during the holidays.

Life trudged on that way for pretty much the rest of the winter and into the spring.  I found my job(s) were growing increasingly stressful and less satisfying, which made things that much harder, but minding my foods kept my emotional outbursts (mostly) in check.

Then came Easter.  Well, the week after Easter really.  I started to feel remarkably like I had when I was first pregnant with Bean.  I told Matt (my rock of a husband), but he sort of thought I was crazy, since it was so early in my cycle.  I secretly took a pregnancy test a day starting about 3 days later until I saw what was an almost imperceptible pink line.  Then I admitted my obsession and Matt made me stop and wait until a more reasonable date for testing in the interest of preserving my sanity - ha!

Low and behold, when the time finally came to "officially" test, I got a definite positive.  Two weeks later, we saw our little Squirt on his or her first ultrasound:

Squirt had a heartbeat and arm-buds!  It was so exciting, and such a relief to see our living little love.   Two weeks later, we told our families, and two weeks after that, we had our next ultrasound:

Yet another heartbeat, actual arms, and a nasal bone!  I couldn't contain my joy!  Or, it turns out, my meals.  I started with morning all-day-and-night sickness around week 8 and it didn't let up until about week 15.  Super unpleasant - I spent many a day laying down for hours because sitting up made me want to toss my cookies dry gluten-free toast.  After about 3 weeks of Matt looking down at me with a pitiful face while I sat on the bathroom floor, I began responding with, "I wanted this."  It was a good reminder that, despite the misery I was feeling, it was, in fact, exactly what I had been hoping and praying for during the previous five months.  And, as everyone was so quick to remind me, being really sick is a sign of a really healthy pregnancy, right?  ... Thanks.

In order to make a really long story a little less so, that is, in essence, what has kept me from posting since that first really long story in November.  I am now a little over 19 weeks pregnant (approaching the 5 month mark for you non-week-counters) and excitedly looking forward to our final ultrasound this coming Friday!  I'm also excited to attempt this blogging thing again as I work to regain control of my health for both me and Squirt, and as I see how pregnancy and delivery affect my body and my food relationships now that I can (pretty much) eat again.  If you've stuck around for my nine month hiatus to see what happened, I cannot thank you enough!  If you're just joining in, thanks for reading two incredibly long posts, and I promise they'll be more succinct in the future!

Here's to all of our health!

The Whole Story So Far

I am 30 years, 9 months, and 22 days old today. I am 1 month and 18 days into my new life. For 30 years, I lived with the idea that all of my health problems were "normal" and that there was never going to be anything better for me. Sure, I went to the doctor. Lots. Sure, they ran tests. Many. But to my detriment, when the tests didn't show what they expected to see, I was sent home with a "You're perfectly normal. There's nothing wrong with you." Eventually, I believed them.

My symptoms have included:
dry, itchy skin - since age 7 (especially on the scalp - since age 10)
allergies and chemical sensitivities - noticed as early as age 3, worsening over time
allergy induced asthma - age 22, if not before
exhaustion, especially in the morning and around 2-4pm - since age 9, if not before
trouble sleeping/insomnia - my mom says this has been since infancy
digestive problems galore - since age 6, if not before
migraine headaches - since age 22, if not before (it took us a long time to figure this one out because mine start with nausea and vomiting and end in headaches rather than the other way around)
intense menstrual periods - since age 14
reactive hypoglycemia - since age 16, if not before (reactive hypoglycemia is basically low blood sugar shortly after eating)
dependency on sugar, caffeine, and food to make it through the day - since age 15, if not before
extreme irritability when hungry - since infancy
forgetfulness - since age 23, getting progressively worse
salt cravings - since childhood
extreme sensitivity to cold - since age 15
depression - since age 15
thinning hair/excessive falling hair - since age 22

(The reason I note some ages, "if not before" is because my earliest confirmed memory of a symptom is at the age listed, but it's possible it was a problem longer and I don't remember or I can't confirm it was related.)

I was tested for mono (I did have it my freshman year of college, but I was in recovery by the time I was diagnosed), hypothyroidism (three times - normal results on all three tests), and probably a mess of other things I don't remember, because they were convinced I had hypothyroidism until my tests said I didn't, and then they gave up.

I have been prescribed numerous medications, but I rarely take them, because my dad is an immunologist, and staunchly opposed to prescription medication. Plus, I find I generally dislike the side effects more than I dislike my original symptoms. I don't understand why western medicine insists on treating symptoms, which are your body's signals to you that something is wrong, rather than finding the actual causes, and then treating that. Blows my mind.

So after failed lab tests, unpleasant prescriptions, and years of unresolved medical complaints, I finally gave up, like my doctors before me.

Then, on 9.25.11, I read a facebook post by Sarah Morgan, one of my dearest inherited friends by marriage. That post changed my life.

I originally went to Sarah's blog, to read about why she would be doing such a dangerous, drastic, intense diet, and wound up wondering why I had never been told to do it, too. I contacted Sarah, and she sent me a link to Dr. Kharrazian's book, which I promptly bought for my Kindle app on my iPad. I read about 1/3, and knew I was finally on my personal road to wellness, after 30 years and counting.

On 10.2.11, I began my elimination diet - no gluten, corn, dairy, soy, eggs, tomatoes, sugar, sugar substitutes, caffeine (including "decaf"), processed foods, or alcohol. Some of those were easy (I've never been a big drinker), some were painfully difficult (I'm a huge sugar addict). And I never knew how frighteningly hard it would be to not eat corn - it literally is in everything. Luckily, my husband was a huge supporter of my desire to get well, and was an enormous help with the food shopping and cooking while I figured this all out. Plus, we have great healthy friends like Dylan and Michelle who had already prompted us to make some of these changes to our diets before I embarked on this new journey.

After just a few weeks, the number of symptoms that had improved was staggering. I lost 10 pounds without even trying (other than the dietary restrictions), I was sleeping through the night (I'd never done that before in my life), and the week of 10.17.11, I woke up every morning at 6:30am feeling awake (I used to wake up dragging at 9 or 10am). I thought something was wrong - that's how backwards my concept of health had become. Then I realized, it wasn't wrong - it was the health I had been craving for the last 30 years, finally becoming a reality.

After reading Dr. Kharrazian's book, and doing some research, I decided to see a doctor who could help guide me through this quest. I found Dr. Reiff through Dr. Kharrazian's website. We set up bloodwork for analysis on 10.12.11 and a first visit for 10.24.11. After analyzing my bloodwork, my health questionnaire responses, and doing some biofeedback (which is by far the coolest thing you can ever have done), he informed me that my thyroid is functioning at ideal levels. It's my adrenal fatigue, reactive hypoglycemia, and malnutrition/malabsorption/dehydration that's mimicking all of the symptoms of hypothyroidism I've been experiencing, which is why no one could ever figure out what was wrong. He put me on several supplements, including essential fatty acids, told me to stay on the elimination diet, but to add things back and note whether or not any symptoms returned, gave me more specifics about controlling my sugar levels and adrenal stress, and told me to do some follow up testing for the adrenal response and my immune system's inflammatory response (which causes adrenal stress and perpetuates the problems).

Then, on 10.25.11, I found out I was pregnant with our first baby. I was thrilled, but also worried about continuing my testing/supplements. Dr. Reiff told me what not to do from the list, and congratulated me on the little development. I continued to see great results, and continued losing weight daily.

Then, on 11.15.11, my life ground to a halt. We had our first ultrasound, and discovered that our little bean had no detectable heartbeat. They told us not to worry, that my due date may have been miscalculated, and to schedule another ultrasound for the following week. Unfortunately, later that day, I began bleeding, and I miscarried at 7 weeks. My midwife assured me that pregnancy loss that early was not due to anything I did or didn't do, but more likely a natural response to a pregnancy that ultimately wouldn't have been viable.

The miscarriage is just about the most painful thing I have ever endured, both physically and emotionally. But I think my little bean knew it would be best to wait until I could be a totally healthy incubator. I can now continue my testing and supplements, and try to get myself totally healthy for our next pregnancy, which is a sliver of a silver lining in this blackest of clouds, but it's there.

So I continue on this road to wellness, in memory of Bean. Thanks for joining me for the ride.